Funny New Year One-Liners
To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
Most New Years resolutions go in one year and out the other.
The best way to keep a New Year’s resolution is to keep it to yourself.
'If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.' - Dorothy Parker