The River Joke
It was the Sunday after St Patrick's day in the small West Ireland village church, and the pastor cast an angry eye over his hungover congregation.
"It's a disgrace how we celebrate our most important saint by indulging in binge drinking and other improper activities. If I could have all the wine in the world, I would throw it in the river!"
The congregation murmured restlessly.
"And if I could have all the beer in the world, I would throw it in the river too!"
The congregation looked downcast, filled with guilt.
"And if I could have all the SPIRITS in the world, I would throw them in the river with the beer and the wine!"
The church was now completely silent.
"Right, I tink we'll sing hymn now. Padraig?"
The musical conductor of the church stood up, cleared his throat and announced, "Now let us sing hymn number 369, 'Shall We Gather at the River?' "