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Putting It In Joke

Funny irish affair catholic priest confession joke picture

"Ah, Father," said Paddy. "I've done a terrible thing.  I almost had an affair with Mrs O'Connell."

"What do you mean 'almost'?" asked the priest.

"Well, we got undressed and kinda rubbed together, if you know what I mean, but then we stopped, honest to God."

"Rubbing together is the same as putting it in, Paddy. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put £50 in the poor box."

Paddy left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box where he paused for a moment before turning to leave.  The priest, who had been watching, ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the box!"

Paddy replied, "Ah, but Father, I rubbed the £50 on the box and that, according to you, is the same as putting it in."
 Funny irish affair catholic priest confession joke picture

Amphibian Feats Joke

Funny crazy French scientist frog joke 
The auditorium was abuzz with excitement.  Professor Hector Le Fraise, the reclusive French scientist, was about to make an announcement.

The little old man shuffled forward, cleared his throat loudly, and produced four little green frogs which he placed on the table in front of him.  "Ladies and gentlemen," he said, "behold the common garden frog - Rana temporaria - each of which has had a different number of legs amputated, from zero to four."  He then looked at down at the frogs and shouted, "Jump!"

Three of the frogs jumped varying distances, but the fourth did not move.

"So," he said, "we observe that the jumping capababilities of the frog are reduced IN PROPORTION to the number of legs that have been amputated."

The audience stirred uneasily - this was hardly a new finding.

"But," continued the old professor, "observe the last frog, which did not move.  What can we conclude from this little fellow, who has no legs, and who did not jump as instructed?"

The room waited expectantly.

"I put to you, ladies and gentleman, that removing all four legs of the common garden frog, causes it to become deaf!"
 Funny crazy French scientist frog joke

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