The best of the internet

Clean One-Liners

Funny Clean Jokes
What did the number zero say to the number eight? "Nice Belt."

Why'd the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side.

Did you hear about the wedding between the two antenna? The service was terrible, but the reception was great.

Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

Who is the roundest knight at King Arthur's table? Sir Cumference.

Have you guys ever heard of the crazy Mexican Train Killer? He had...... Loco Motives

I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why.

And to make up for all of these awfully funny little jokes, here's a longer one:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

You may like

Featured Joke

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam replied that he didn't have anyone to talk to, so God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called 'woman'.

And God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give love and compassion whenever needed."

"What will this woman cost?" asked Adam.

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

Adam scratched his head for a moment and then asked, "What can I get for just a rib?"
Scroll To Top