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Universal Grade Change Form

Funny High School vs University Student Picture

Universal Grade Change Form

To: (professor/teacher/instructor)________________________

I think my grade in your course,_________________, should be changed from___to___for the following reasons:
  1. ____The persons who copied my paper made a higher grade than I did.
  2. ____The person whose paper I copied made a higher grade than I did.
  3. ____This course will lower my GPA and I won't get into:
    __Med School __Dental School __Chiropractic School
    __Acupuncture school __Grad School __Mickey Mouse Club
  4. ____I have to get an A in this course to balance the F in ___________.
  5. ____I'll lose my scholarship.
  6. ____I'm on a varsity sports team and my coach couldn't find a copy of your exam.
  7. ____I didn't come to class and the person whose notes I used did not cover the material asked for on the exam.
  8. ____I studied the basic principles but the exam wanted every little fact.
  9. ____I studied the facts and definitions but the exam asked about general principles.
  10. ____I understood the material; I just couldn't do the problems.
  11. ____I can work the problems, but your exam expected understanding.
  12. ____You are prejudiced against:
    __Males __Females __Protestants __Chicanos
    __Jews __Catholics __Muslims __People
    __Blacks __Whites __Minorities __Jocks
    __Students __Young people __Old people 
  13. ____If I flunk out of school my father will disinherit me or at least cut my allowance.
  14. ____I was unable to do well in this course because of the following:
    __mono __acute alcoholism __drug addiction
    __VD __broken finger __pregnancy __fatherhood
    __I have allergic reaction to brain work __I am intellectually challenged. 
  15. ____You told us to be creative but you didn't tell us exactly how you wanted that done.
  16. ____I was creative and you said I was just shooting the bull.
  17. ____The lectures were:
    • __too detailed to pick out important points
    • __not explained in sufficient detail
    • __too boring
    • __all jokes and no material
    • __too serious--not enough entertainment to keep me awake.
  18. ____All my other profs have agreed to raise my grades.
  19. ____I don't have a reason; I just want a higher grade.
  20. ____This course was:
    • __too early, I was not awake.
    • __too late, I was tired.
    • __at lunchtime, I was hungry.
  21. ____My (dog, cat, gerbil) (ate, wet on, threw up on) my (book, notes, term paper) for this course.

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Paddy and Mary are having some issues in the bedroom department so they go visit the doctor to see if he can help them out. Mary tells the doctor that no matter what, she can never reach her special place when they make love.

The doctor examines them both and says “I can’t find anything obviously wrong with either of you. But Mary, I think you might be overheating in the act. I suggest you purchase a fan and use that when you go to bed.”

Paddy, being a careful sort, doesn’t want to splash out on a new fan so he rings his best pal Tommy and asks Tommy if he’ll flap a towel over Paddy and Mary as they make love. That evening Tommy comes round and waves a towel over the couple as they go at it. Two hours later, there’s still no difference, Mary is still unsatisfied.

“Paddy, I tell you what,” suggests Mary, “Why don’t you swap places with Tommy? You can flap the towel and Tommy and I can try the love making.”

Desperate, Paddy agrees. Within 5 minutes of Mary and Tommy making vigorous love Mary reaches a thunderous climax, and then again. And then again. Finally after an hour they both collapse on the bed, exhausted.”

“And that, Tommy”, Paddy announces triumphantly, “is how you flap a bloody towel!”
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