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Father, I'm Cold Joke

funny short joke priest and nun staying at a stone cottage on the irish moors

"Father Murphy?" said the nun.

"Yes, Sister?" murmured the priest drowsily.

"I'm cold."

The priest got up from the floor of the stone cottage and fetched a blanket from the wooden chest.  He handed it to the nun, who lay on a bunk bed.  He settled down again, and attempted to go back to sleep.

"Father?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm still cold," said the nun.

The priest got up again and fetched a second blanket for the nun.  He lay down with a deep sigh.  They had been hiking through the moors all day, and he was tired.

"Father?"

"Yes, Sister Agnes?"

"I'm still cold."

The priest replied, "Sister Agnes, it seems we have ourselves a little problem that has two possible solutions: I could either fetch you another blanket, or alternatively we could pretend we are a married couple."

"Father," replied the nun huskily, "I think I would like the second option very much."

"Well, in that case, get your own damn blanket, woman!"

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Paddy and Mary are having some issues in the bedroom department so they go visit the doctor to see if he can help them out. Mary tells the doctor that no matter what, she can never reach her special place when they make love.

The doctor examines them both and says “I can’t find anything obviously wrong with either of you. But Mary, I think you might be overheating in the act. I suggest you purchase a fan and use that when you go to bed.”

Paddy, being a careful sort, doesn’t want to splash out on a new fan so he rings his best pal Tommy and asks Tommy if he’ll flap a towel over Paddy and Mary as they make love. That evening Tommy comes round and waves a towel over the couple as they go at it. Two hours later, there’s still no difference, Mary is still unsatisfied.

“Paddy, I tell you what,” suggests Mary, “Why don’t you swap places with Tommy? You can flap the towel and Tommy and I can try the love making.”

Desperate, Paddy agrees. Within 5 minutes of Mary and Tommy making vigorous love Mary reaches a thunderous climax, and then again. And then again. Finally after an hour they both collapse on the bed, exhausted.”

“Now that, Tommy”, Paddy announces triumphantly, “is how you flap a bloody towel!”
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