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Load of White Sheet

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"Someone!" roared the Alabama preacher to his congregation. "Someone has been spreading a rumour that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.  This is an infamous lie, and one which the church of God cannot tolerate.  I demand that the person responsible stand up now and beg forgiveness from God and His Church."

No one moved, so he continued, "Do you not fear the Word of the Lord which says in Revelation 21:8 that liars will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur?"

Again all was quiet for a moment, until, slowly, a gorgeous blonde woman rose from the third pew.  Her head bowed, she spoke in a quivering voice, "Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a few of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
Funny Ku Klux Klan Preacher Blonde Joke

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Paddy and Mary are having some issues in the bedroom department so they go visit the doctor to see if he can help them out. Mary tells the doctor that no matter what, she can never reach her special place when they make love.

The doctor examines them both and says “I can’t find anything obviously wrong with either of you. But Mary, I think you might be overheating in the act. I suggest you purchase a fan and use that when you go to bed.”

Paddy, being a careful sort, doesn’t want to splash out on a new fan so he rings his best pal Tommy and asks Tommy if he’ll flap a towel over Paddy and Mary as they make love. That evening Tommy comes round and waves a towel over the couple as they go at it. Two hours later, there’s still no difference, Mary is still unsatisfied.

“Paddy, I tell you what,” suggests Mary, “Why don’t you swap places with Tommy? You can flap the towel and Tommy and I can try the love making.”

Desperate, Paddy agrees. Within 5 minutes of Mary and Tommy making vigorous love Mary reaches a thunderous climax, and then again. And then again. Finally after an hour they both collapse on the bed, exhausted.”

“Now that, Tommy”, Paddy announces triumphantly, “is how you flap a bloody towel!”
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