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Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say

Funny Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say List Picture
Funny Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say List Picture

  1. Does this hunter's outfit make me look fat?
  2. Do you think he is prettier than me?
  3. My wife never listens to me
  4. I'll have the light vinaigrette salad and a diet soda.
  5. Why don't we go to the men's room and freshen up?
  6. No, I didn't see the game last night. I was watching QVC.
  7. Looks like it's time to by some NEW underwear.
  8. Okay, who left the toilet seat up?
  10. The dog??? No, that was ME.

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Featured Joke

Paddy and Mary are having some issues in the bedroom department so they go visit the doctor to see if he can help them out. Mary tells the doctor that no matter what, she can never reach her special place when they make love.

The doctor examines them both and says “I can’t find anything obviously wrong with either of you. But Mary, I think you might be overheating in the act. I suggest you purchase a fan and use that when you go to bed.”

Paddy, being a careful sort, doesn’t want to splash out on a new fan so he rings his best pal Tommy and asks Tommy if he’ll flap a towel over Paddy and Mary as they make love. That evening Tommy comes round and waves a towel over the couple as they go at it. Two hours later, there’s still no difference, Mary is still unsatisfied.

“Paddy, I tell you what,” suggests Mary, “Why don’t you swap places with Tommy? You can flap the towel and Tommy and I can try the love making.”

Desperate, Paddy agrees. Within 5 minutes of Mary and Tommy making vigorous love Mary reaches a thunderous climax, and then again. And then again. Finally after an hour they both collapse on the bed, exhausted.”

“Now that, Tommy”, Paddy announces triumphantly, “is how you flap a bloody towel!”
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