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Toad Sweet

funny eiffel tower rich american tourist joke
Funny Paris Eiffel tower rich american tourist joke

“Monsieur, I regret, but I cannot be of assistance; Ze Tour Eiffel cannot be closed on ze weem of a wealthy American.”

“Weem??” shouted the American.  “I told Marlene while we were back in Texas that she could go up the Eiffel tower.  She’s been looking forward to it for weeks!”

The little Frenchman sighed.  “Monsieur, your wife is welcome to buy a ticket along with ze rest of our esteemed visitors.”

The American looked around at the mile long queue and snorted. “I don’t think so.  Look, bud…. how much for the thing?”

“What sing?”

“This,” replied the American, pointing up at the Eiffel Tower.

“You want to buy ze tower?”

“Yes, yes, dammit.  Look here, 2 million dollars in this rucksack.  Cash sale.”

The Frenchman scratched his black goatee, uncertain, but then smiled and took the bag. “But of course, monsieur.  I will just go and tell ze operators about ze new owners.  I will be back toute suite.”

“The name’s Vanderranch, Dick Vanderranch,” shouted the American after the disappearing Frenchman.  “Make sure they spell that right!”

“What did he mean, ‘toad sweet?’” said Marlene, twenty minutes later.

“Hell I don’t know,” said the American.  “It all sounds the same to me.  But don’t worry; everybody speaks dollar, even in this dump.”

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Featured Joke

Paddy and Mary are having some issues in the bedroom department so they go visit the doctor to see if he can help them out. Mary tells the doctor that no matter what, she can never reach her special place when they make love.

The doctor examines them both and says “I can’t find anything obviously wrong with either of you. But Mary, I think you might be overheating in the act. I suggest you purchase a fan and use that when you go to bed.”

Paddy, being a careful sort, doesn’t want to splash out on a new fan so he rings his best pal Tommy and asks Tommy if he’ll flap a towel over Paddy and Mary as they make love. That evening Tommy comes round and waves a towel over the couple as they go at it. Two hours later, there’s still no difference, Mary is still unsatisfied.

“Paddy, I tell you what,” suggests Mary, “Why don’t you swap places with Tommy? You can flap the towel and Tommy and I can try the love making.”

Desperate, Paddy agrees. Within 5 minutes of Mary and Tommy making vigorous love Mary reaches a thunderous climax, and then again. And then again. Finally after an hour they both collapse on the bed, exhausted.”

“Now that, Tommy”, Paddy announces triumphantly, “is how you flap a bloody towel!”
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