Funny jokes, memes and pictures

Punliners

Funny pun one-liners collection
Funny pun one-liners collection

I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.

How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Where is the bar tender?"

This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

When chemists die, they barium.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter - none of them work.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

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